


Promises

by SophieD



Series: Parker and Alex [6]
Category: Leverage, Orange is the New Black
Genre: Angst, F/F, Femslash, Lesbian Sex, Promises, Romance, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 14:41:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3654177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieD/pseuds/SophieD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parker and Alex adjust to living together</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promises

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments and constructive criticism. Please let me know if you like it.

I wake up confused. Less than 24 hours ago I was a prisoner. The past day and night went by in a blur of cars and apartments. I’m not exactly sure where I am. 

The white walls and the pink canopy. It’s not Litchfield. It’s too quiet, too comfortable, too pink. And there’s somebody warm tucked into me. I slowly come to consciousness. Parker. She did everything she promised. And more. I can still feel the hum of electric energy. It radiates off of her. It leaves hot marks on my skin. My insides feel like they are buzzing. She’s still sound asleep. It’s amazing that someone who looks so sweet and innocent can be so amazing in bed. Then again, I am learning that Parker is pretty amazing in whatever she does. She starts to stir and I roll over and put my arms around her. “Mmmmm Alex.” “Sorry Love. I’m used to getting up insanely early.”   
“What are you doing today?” She mumbles. My first real day of freedom. So many things come to mind. “I have a few chores I need to do but they can wait a few hours.” “Mmmm ok” she mumbles again. “But there’s only one thing I really want to do.” I tell her. She doesn’t answer. I think maybe she’s fallen back to sleep. I pull myself closer and mold my body around her backside. She doesn’t move until I let my arm drape over her shoulder, dropping my hand down so it is cupping her breast. She pushes back into me. “Alex…go back to sleep.” “I can’t Parker.” “Well then can’t you do this by yourself?” she asks. I laugh. She’s clearly awake now but still going to give me grief. “I suppose I could but it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun.” She turns over to face me. “Would it be more fun if I watched?” Her eyes are sparkling. I’m not going anywhere soon. “It might be.” Her cheeks are turning a bright pink. “Then do it!” she says, her voice a husky whisper. “Yeah?” “Yeah.”  
Parker throws the blankets off and sits up facing me. She nods at me to do the same. Her eyes are shining a bright green. She’s staring at me while she’s already exploring herself with her fingers. The image is so powerful that I am having trouble catching my breath. She waves at me again to sit up. I face her and she moves so that our legs are wrapped around each other, leaving only enough space for my hand. 

I slowly slide my hand down and she smiles. The backs of our hands are touching. I find her rhythm instantly. Parker’s cheeks are glowing. Her eyes are sparkling as she stares into mine. At some point, our hands switch and I find myself deep inside her. She squeaks and puts her fingers inside me. I try to hold her gaze. I want to watch her like she watches me. Her eyes start to become unfocused. I wrap my loose arm around her and pull her tight to me. I feel her body start to contract. She pulls her legs tight around me and that pushes me over the edge with her. I collapse onto her as she falls back on the bed. 

I am lying now with Parker next to me. I’m not thinking about anything except being here in the moment. I watch my fingers as they trace lazy shapes on her belly. I imagine I can hear her purr as her body melds into mine. I sigh. I don’t want to move. I don’t want Parker to move either. There are things that have to be done. I need to go see my new parole officer. I need to get my money. I need to get something to eat besides pizza and cereal. I need to find Kubra and try to explain myself to him.   
I move just a bit and Parker immediately stiffens and grabs for me. “It’s OK Parker. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” She rolls back a bit so she can look at me. She takes my hand and starts pulling at my fingers. I’m learning to recognize when she’s upset about something. As usual though, I have no idea what it is she could be upset about. 

“Alex?” She asks. “Will you be my friend?” I laugh. “Parker. That’s a silly question.” She doesn’t get the humor. She pulls farther away from me. Her hand is wrapped tightly around mine, squeezing it, hurting me. “I’m sorry Parker. I didn’t mean that. I was just trying to be funny. I mean, you are my friend so asking me to be your friend? That seemed silly. It wasn’t though. I get that. Talk to me. Please?”  
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Promise me Alex. Promise me that you’ll always be my friend.” “Parker I…I am your friend.” “Right now you are. But what if we stop having sex? Will you be my friend then? Or if you don’t want to live with me anymore?” “Parker, I know you want a guarantee” I tell her, “but that’s not how life works. I can’t promise that. Things change. People change.” She finally looks at me and I can see the fear and the sadness in her eyes. “I will promise you this though, I can’t imagine ever not wanting to be with you. I will do everything I can to make this work. And if it doesn’t work, then yes, I will still want to be your friend. I love you Parker.”  
Parker closes her eyes. I move close to her. “I hope that’s going to be enough Parker. Because it’s all I can give” I whisper. She doesn’t answer. I want to kiss her but she doesn’t move. “Parker?” “Ok” she whispers. “OK?” I ask. “Yeah. OK. I don’t ever want to stop loving you Alex. So OK.” I smile and press my lips to hers. “Ok” I whisper. 

It’s another hour before I finally manage to untangle myself from Parker and her fluffy pink bed. I take a long shower and then dress in some of Parker’s clothes. I promise her that I won’t be too long. I’ll bring back something to make for dinner too. She tells me she’s going over to the apartment to make sure things are getting done. I give her one more kiss then hurry out to the street to figure out where I am and where I’m going to need to go.

My first stop is the bank. I have several hidden accounts, names that can’t be traced back to me. I withdraw enough that I can do some shopping. This weekend I will look for a car. The last thing I want is Parker driving me all over the city. My next stop is with my new parole officer where I make more promises and sign my life away. I decide to wait on the shopping so Parker can come with me. I catch a taxi and give the address to the apartment building. He whistles as he pulls to the curb in the front. “You live here huh?” he asks, clearly impressed by the neighbourhood. I give him a smile with his tip. “Yeah. I’m pretty lucky.” “Sure are” he says as I shut the door and he pulls away.

I go upstairs to find Parker sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by paint chips and carpet samples. “Oh good” she says. “I can’t figure out what colors.” I smile. I’ve never seen Parker do anything domestic before. She’s adorable sitting there. I want to grab her and spin her around and kiss her until she begs me to stop. Instead, I sit next to her and help her sort through the colors. “I like darker colors” I tell her, pulling out a warm brown, a dark red and a dark gold. She nods. “I like it too.” “Carpet?” She shakes her head. “I think wood floors, this color.” She pulls out a sample stained a reddish brown. “And it’s bamboo so it’s renewable” she says. “I love it Parker. I do.” She smiles. “Good. I’ll tell the contractor. He’s supposed to be finished at the end of this week. I look at the mess around us dubiously. “Are you sure?” She nods. “He promised.” I sigh. Parker and her promises. “And besides” she continues, “I told him I’d pay him extra for every day less it takes him.” I get it now. Promises are good but bribes work too.

I stand up and grab Parker by the hands. “C’mon. Let’s get out of here. I’m buying lunch and then we can go shopping. “Goodie!” Parker lets me pull her up and she gives me a hug and a kiss before pulling me towards the door.  
Parker and I have a wonderful afternoon. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much in my life. I get myself some jeans and tennies and some t shirts. I also buy myself a “going out” dress. I promise Parker that I will take her out soon. She looks and finds herself a gorgeous dress. “Oh my God Parker. I can’t wait to see you in that dress!” She just smiles at me as she runs to go try it on. “Fuck Parker. You look amazing! Will you let me buy it for you?” I ask. “After all you’ve done for me, let me get that.” “You like it on me?” She asks. “Oh yeah. But I think I’ll like it even better off of you.” I give her a wink and she smiles shyly. “Ok” she says. “I’ll let you buy it but I get to take you out tonight.” “Ummm. Not tonight Parker. I have business tonight. Tomorrow?” She raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. I can see her start to shut down, her eyes start to drop. “What is it Parker?” She looks back up at me and makes her face go neutral. “Nothing. I’ll tell you later.” I try to think of something to bring back her lighthearted mood. “Coffee?” She gives me a big smile. “With chocolate?” “Of course!” “You buying?” “Sure.” “OK then. Let’s go.” She grabs my hand and her bags and pulls me out of the store laughing.

We hit a grocery store. I lose Parker in the cereal aisle while I pick up some fresh fruit and vegies and some things to make a stir fry for dinner. I laugh when she meets me at the checkstand with an arm full of cereal boxes. “I’m going to make you dinner Parker.” She shrugs and drops her boxes on the belt. “I promise it will be good” I tell her. “I know” she says as she heads back to go get a bottle of milk. I shake my head at the checker who is not trying very hard to hide her smile. “She’s cute” the checker tells me. “Yeah. I know.” “Well don’t worry hon” she tells me. “She’s going to love your cooking.” I smile at her. “I hope so because I don’t think I can eat another bowl of sugar packed cereal.” 

 

I spend the afternoon making the kitchen in Parker’s place somewhat functional. Parker does ‘thief stuff’ as she describes it. I finally pull her away from her laptop. There are no chairs so we sit on the floor again. Parker grabs a pair of chopsticks and takes a bite. Her eyes get big. She shovels two more bites in and then says “Oh my God Alex. This is SO good!” I laugh. “I’m glad you like it.” She nods enthusiastically. “I think it’s even better than Lucky Charms!” I laugh again. “That’s a pretty high bar there.” “The highest!” “And I beat that?” She nods again, too busy eating to talk any more. I finally take a bite of my own. Not bad Alex. Not bad.

I decide not to go out looking for Kubra. He hasn’t come looking for me so maybe he doesn’t know I’m out yet. I want to put that bit of business off as long as possible. Instead, Parker and I go for a walk. It’s so nice just to walk around free, go anywhere I want. Holding Parker’s hand is just icing on the cake. We walk and talk for hours before stopping for an ice cream. Parker makes me laugh all the time. She gets so excited about things that I, and probably most people, would not consider any big deal. Like ice cream. I wonder if anyone has ever bought her an ice cream cone before. I decide I’m going to learn to see Parker’s world the way she does, to find joy in the small things and not worry so much about the big things.

Parker seems simple. I am learning, however, that there is so much more to her than what you see on the surface. Her world is black and white. Good or bad. She has a strong sense of what is right which doesn’t seem to interfere with her need to steal things. She says that she only steals from people who can afford the loss. I don’t see the difference. When you first talk to her, if you can get her to talk back, you might get the impression that her thoughts and words are child-like. If you really listen though, she is unbelievably intelligent. She has a unique view of the world, she sees and remembers everything. She sees things that others don’t. What is, what was and what could be. I can’t imagine ever a time when I won’t be impressed and surprised by the things she thinks.

We’re sitting at a table just outside the parlor, finishing our ice creams before heading back to Parker’s place. Our feet are tangled together under the table. “How’s your chocolate?” I ask. “Perfect” she responds. “Want a taste?” “Sure I tell her” and she holds her cone out to me. “Nuh unh” I tell her. I crook my finger at her and lean close. She obliges me with the kiss I want. “Mmm delicious” I tell her. She laughs. “You hardly got any ice cream.” “Yeah it wasn’t ice cream I was looking for” I tell her as lean into her for another kiss. She laughs. “God Parker. You are so fucking cute.” She smiles. “Then I guess you should kiss me again.” I mock sigh. “If I have to.” She giggles as she leans into me with a soul crushing kiss.  
“Fuck Parker! Let’s go home.” “That’s what I want Alex. I want to go home. With you.” “I want that too Parker.” I take her hand and pull her to her feet. “It’s been a long time since I had a home” I whisper as I pull her into my arms. “The, our apartment should be done this week.” “It doesn’t matter Parker, wherever you are, that’s my home now.” She looks pleased. “Me too Alex.”

We walk slowly back towards Parker’s warehouse. Her hand feels good in mine. I catch her sneaking peeks at me and then smiling. “Parker?” “I’m just happy Alex. I can’t believe that, out of all those girls, Nicky especially, you picked me.” “It’s not like I had any sort of choice Parker. I knew I loved you the moment I saw you.” She blushes. “Really?” “Yeah really.” I stop and pull her into a hug and a kiss. “How far away are we?” I ask, my voice cracking. “Not far” she replies. “We can walk faster.”

Parker pulls the door to her place closed and turns right into me. “ooomph. I didn’t know you were there” she mumbles into my shoulder. I don’t answer her except to wrap her up in my arms. “Alex…?” Whatever her question was, it gets lost in the kiss I give her. I slowly walk her backwards toward her pink fluffy bed, never breaking contact with her sweet mouth. She hits the edge of the bed with another ‘ooomph’ and I push her backwards so she falls on to it. She sits up on her elbows while I drop to my knees in front of her. “Alex?” “Shhh…just relax. I got this.” I pull her shoes off then start to slowly work her jeans out from under her. As I pull them down off of her, I start to kiss her, beginning with her ankle and slowly moving up her leg. She’s lying back now, her eyes closed, a smile on her face. The higher I go, the more she squeaks until I finally arrive at my destination. When I finally touch my tongue to her, she jumps. I pull back, thinking this is one of her touch things when she wraps her legs around me and pulls me back. I don’t need more encouragement than that. I alternate fingers and tongue and I can feel her energy buzzing around me. I quickly slide two fingers deep into her and she gasps. My fingers are moving in time with my tongue now and her squeaks are getting louder and faster. I do a little trick I learned where I wriggle my fingers deep inside her. At the same time, I wrap my lips around her and suck. She comes quickly now with a yelp and then her body goes limp. I swing her legs up on to the bed and crawl up next to her. 

She’s still trying to catch her breath. I’m not making it easy for her as my mouth covers hers and my hands are all over her. “Alex…” she says breathlessly. “That was…Oh my God…you can do that any time you want.” “It will be my pleasure” I tell her quietly. “And will you teach me that finger thing?” I laugh. “Of course. I will show you again later. OK?” “OK” she says with a smile.

I brush her blonde hair from her forehead and kiss her on the cheek. “Are you hungry Parker? Do you want me to make you something?” “Nuh uh” she replies. “Can’t we just lie here for a while?” “Of course Parker. Close your eyes. I got you.” “I know” she says. Her last words are barely a whisper as she tucks herself into me and starts to fall asleep. “I got you too Alex.” 

I’m still awake an hour later when Parker opens her eyes. She studies me. “Thinking?” She asks. “Hmm? Oh yeah. This is a lot. I’ve only been out a day and I feel a bit overwhelmed.” “By me?” she asks with a tinge of worry to her voice. “No. Well yes. But in a good way. It’s the rest of the world. It’s like I disappeared off the planet for four years but the world went on without me. It’s just hard to find my place.” “Your place is here Alex.” She pulls me tight for emphasis. “It’s not just that Parker. All of my friends, my job, everything. It’s all gone. I’m starting completely over. I’m scared.” Those are words that Parker understands, though she would never admit it. “You’ll be OK Alex. I promise. We’ll move into our apartment so you’ll have a real home. You’ll make new friends. And you’ll always have me and Nicky.” “Yeah” I agree. “I am pretty lucky. Without you, I don’t know where I would be, what I would have done. You’ve literally saved my life Parker. And made me incredibly happy.” She rolls up on top of me and kisses me. “I have some ideas for a job too Alex. Something that you can use your skills for.” “You mean shipping drugs around the world?” “No. No drugs. But things always need to be shipped.” I don’t get it but I know Parker will tell me when she’s ready. Right now, she’s thinking about other things as she starts tugging at my jeans with one hand while the other goes up the front of my shirt. “Parker!” I kiddingly chastise her. “What? I told you I wasn’t hungry.” I forget about food and everything else as her warm lips leave burn marks down the side of my neck.

Late into the evening, I finally get around to heating up some of the stir fried leftovers. Parker and I sit on the bed and eat and laugh until we’re both so tired we can’t see straight. When we finally get settled back into bed, Parker snuggles close. She’s already half asleep when she asks “I thought you were going out tonight?” “I changed my mind” I tell her. “Business can wait. I had more important things to do.” “Mmm” she mumbles sleepily. “I’m glad. I had a fun day.” “Me too” I tell her as I tuck her into my shoulder and wrap my arm around her. I’m asleep almost as fast as she is.

The next day we spend at the apartment. The remodeling is almost done and Parker wants to make sure the details like paint and floor are done right. I sit in the corner of the book room and read “The Book Thief” while she buzzes around. The story is beautiful, about a German girl trying to survive in Nazi Germany. By the time Parker comes looking for me, I’m sobbing. “Alex? What’s wrong?” She’s very concerned to find me in this state of undone. *sniff* “Nothing. It’s the book.” “A book made you cry?” *sniff “It’s a wonderful book Parker. You should read it.” “Is it really about a book thief?” “Well, yeah. Sort of. It’s more about being a survivor. Making something good out of a horrible situation.” She just looks at me. “So it’s not about a thief?” “No. I guess not. Not really.” *sniff sniff* “So why are you crying then?” “Because it’s sad.” “I thought you said it was good?” “Parker, haven’t you ever read a book that made you cry?” She shakes her head no. “Maybe if it was about a real thief. And the thief got caught. Maybe then it would make me cry.” I have an idea. “Can I read it to you?” She smiles. “I think I’d like that. But I’m not going to cry about a little girl”. I smile back. “We’ll see.”

We don’t have any chance to read today. Parker is done in the apartment. She’s been bugging me about going to pick out furniture and I finally agree. She drives out of the city to a huge furniture store. She’s practically skipping as she pulls me through the doors. I have to laugh at her. She gets so excited about things it’s hard to contain her. She’s babbling on about how a friend paid for everything already with his platinum card, it’s all on credit. All we have to do is decide what we want.   
I head first to the sofas. I want to find the perfect piece for the book room. It has to be super soft and big enough for two to snuggle. I make Parker test all of them with me until we find the perfect one. It’s comfortable enough for me to pull my legs under by myself and nice and cozy when Parker is sitting with me. “It’s perfect Alex.” “I know. I can’t wait to sit and read with you.” “Me either. But I’m still not going to cry.”

“Alex.” She gives me a kiss and then jumps up like something bit her behind. “Let’s go find a bed now!” “Good” I mutter under my breath “because that pink monstrosity is not coming with us.” She gives me a dirty look then goes ahead. By the time I catch up, she is flopped sideways on a kind size bed. “Come on Alex, I like this one. It’s nice and bouncy.” “Yeah well I’m not sure that’s the first thing I look for in a bed” I tell her. “Just come. I like it.” The frame of the bed is simple, oak. Nothing special or fancy except for a couple of drawers that fit underneath. “You just want the hidey holes” I tease her. “They’re not very secret” she says inspecting the nearest one, then flopping back onto the mattress. I lie down next to her. “Not bad” I tell her. “You like it?” “Sure Parker but don’t you want to look at any others?” She shakes her head. “Nope. This is the one. Just need to make sure it’s kissable.” “What?” I ask. “You know” she says slyly. “How does it feel when I do this?” She rolls on top of me and puts her mouth on mine. “Fuck Parker” I say quietly. “I think you’re right. This one’s perfect.” She rolls off of me with a smile before taking off across the store again. “Told you!” “Oh my God” I say as I lay back on the bed. The saleswoman who has been surreptitiously watching us gives me a smile. “She’s adorable” she says as she walks by me. “Yes she is” I answer. “And she’s going to kill me one day with all of her energy.” The sales lady laughs. I don’t think she has much sympathy for me.  
We spend most of the afternoon picking out pieces for the apartment. I seem to be always a step behind Parker as she runs off in different directions. Not for the first time I wonder about her life experience. Does she attack everything in life with this much gusto? Or is she finally experiencing a life outside of her thief world. Either way, I am just grateful to be with her here in her world. It’s going to be a roller coaster ride, living with Parker. But I can’t imagine a life without her any more. 

Parker arranges to have everything delivered to the apartment. If all goes well, we’ll be able to move in over the weekend. I can tell Parker is nervous about that. “What Parker?” She’s staring at her feet, her fingers twisting together. I can see her mood coming a mile away now and I try to head it off. “Parker!” She jumps. “You need to tell me. I can’t help if you don’t talk to me.” When she speaks, I have to lean close just to hear her. “I want to keep my thief place.” “What?” The question startles her and she takes a step backwards. I try do to quick damage control. “No Parker. It’s OK. I just didn’t hear you. What did you say?” She takes a breath and tries again. “I want to keep my thief place Alex. I want to live in your, our apartment. With you. But I need my place. It’s where I can think and plan. I just… I’ve never lived with anyone before“ her voice starts to fade again. “I don’t know if I can do thief stuff there.” “Parker, its fine. I totally understand. It’s the same as my book room. You knew I needed my space there. Why can’t you do the same for yourself? Keep your thief place. You need it.” She jumps at me and throws her arms around my neck. “Thank you Alex.” “Of course Parker. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I would do anything to make you happy.” “Anything?” She asks. I can tell from the tone of her voice that I’m about to get played yet I can’t seem to do anything about it. “Yeah. Anything.” “Can you make that stir fry again? Tonight?” I laugh. That definitely wasn’t what I was expecting her to say. “Sure Parker. Anything you want.” “Goodie” she exclaims as she heads off to get the car.

We stop on the way back and get more food and a bottle of wine. I’m getting used to Parker’s driving but I don’t know that I’ll ever feel safe enough to open my eyes. Parker thinks it’s funny and I suspect some of her antics are just for my benefit. Back at the warehouse, I make her dinner. I’m thinking about going to find Kubra and I can feel the tension in my stomach. Food is not going to make me feel better. Parker seems to be enjoying the meal and I watch her while I sip on my wine. “This is SO good Alex. You need to try it.” “I will Parker. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.” “Well you’re missing out because it’s delicious. Can you make more tomorrow?” I laugh. “You know I can make other things.” “Like what?” “Anything you want.” “Well, I don’t know. I like this.” I laugh again. “One can’t live on stir fry alone” I say. She thinks about that. “No. I think that I can.” “Well I’m glad you like it.” She nods enthusiastically as she shovels another bite to her mouth.

Dinner’s done and Parker is sitting cross legged on the bed watching me as I try to figure out what to wear. I finally decide on a pair of tight jeans and a t-shirt. Parker nods her approval. “Is this for your business?” she asks. “Yeah. I need to find my boss. I need to try to explain why I testified against him. Not that it did any good. He’s still out there doing his thing while I wasted four years of my life.” “Because of him.” She says. “Well, the choices were all mine but yeah. If I had never met him…”  
I turn around to see Parker doing her worry thing again. “Don’t worry Parker. He won’t do anything. Not tonight. Not in public. I’m hoping I can smooth the whole thing over before he tries anything.” She still doesn’t look up. “OK Parker. What?” “He’s not going to hurt you Alex.” “What?” “I said he’s not going to hurt you. Kubra’s gone.” “Parker! What did you do?” I can hear the anger in my voice. I’m not sure what she was expecting but the definitely wasn’t it. She scoots herself backwards on the bed. “He was a bad man Alex. He was going to hurt you. And he hurt Nicky. And lots of other people.” “Oh my God Parker!” I press my hand to my forehead as I sink down on the edge of the bed. “When you say ‘gone’ you mean dead right?” She shrugs. “I didn’t kill him. I just made his bosses want to kill him.” “Oh my God. Oh my God.” 

My anger is back full force. “Parker you can’t just go kill people.” She opens her mouth and then shuts it. I can be a real bitch when I’m angry and I let it all go at Parker. All of the frustration from the last four years, Parker planning my life without me, and now this. “I can’t believe you could do this Parker.” She whispers again “he was a bad man Alex.” “Yeah well you and I, we’re not exactly model citizens are we? I’m a drug smuggler! You’re a thief! And you don’t seem to care about that. It’s like you’re proud of it. Parker you steal things. Oh my God Parker. The apartment? It’s paid for with stolen money isn’t it? And the furniture? Who paid for that?” “Kubra” she whispers. She’s back against the wall now, her knees pulled up to her chest. “My God Parker! I could go back to prison for this!” She’s shaking her head no. She’s trying to explain but I’m not in any mood to hear it. I’m getting some sick enjoyment out of yelling at her. Four long years of holding my temper. It feels good to finally let go. Fuck Parker and her fragile ego. Fuck Kubra and Nicky and everyone else. She tries one more time to explain but I’m still pissed. “I don’t care Parker! I really don’t. You got someone killed. You can’t just have people killed. It really doesn’t matter if they were good or bad. YOU CAN’T DO THAT! And the worst part is that you did it for me. Like I’m supposed to be happy about it!” Her voice is barely a whisper now. “You said he was going to hurt you. I couldn’t let him do that.” “I DON’T CARE PARKER! I DON’T! I REALLY DON’T! STOP TRYING TO RUN MY LIFE! I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP!”

That was enough for Parker. I could see the tears in her eyes as she crawled off the bed and ran away. I try to hold on to my anger but I can’t. The look in her eyes broke my heart. I throw myself onto the bed, kicking and punching like a toddler throwing a tantrum. “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!” The tears come quickly. I curl up into a ball and cry until my eyes are swollen shut and I have nothing left. Some time late into the night I fall asleep.  
I wake up early in the morning. My eyes are still swollen. My body hurts from sleeping awkwardly, my feet feel numb from the tight jeans I slept in. Parker isn’t in bed with me. I rub my eyes and try to stretch. I try to forget, but my angry words are bouncing around in my head. I wonder how many promises I broke. I wonder if Parker can forgive me. What she did, it wasn’t OK but her heart was in the right place. The right thing for the wrong reason? Or the wrong thing for the right reason? Does it matter? Kubra is gone. Not that it will make a difference. Someone else will take his place. The flow of heroin won’t stop. More lives will be ruined. But it will have nothing to do with me. I suppose I should be happy. Kubra was like a noose around my neck. He never was going to let me go. 

I need to find Parker. I need to explain. I need to make this right. 

I crawl out of bed and make my way toward the front of the warehouse. I don’t see Parker anywhere. I wonder where she went? To the apartment? That’s the first place I should look. That’s probably where I would go. I turn back towards the bed to get my shoes and a clean shirt. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something moving. I look up. I hadn’t noticed before but the whole ceiling of the warehouse is a tangle of pipes and rafters. In the middle, hanging from a pipe, is Parker, slowly swaying back and forth.


End file.
